Good evening, Mr here.
I hope you are enjoying the lovely summer weather we've been having. I know I have; cooped up inside writing blogs obviously. I would go outside with the other human beings but a) I have no friends and b) I felt particularly inspired after reading Miss' last blog. It got me thinking (in a Carrie Bradshaw kind of way) about my ex boyfriends and the different types of gay men out there.
I've never really had a type. All of my boyfriends have been totally different in terms of looks and personality. Let's see how they fit into the universal-gay-man-type-spectrum.
Mr Nice Guy
He loves his mum more than anything in the world, second only to his homework, pet dog, and passion for either languages or classical piano.
Is most likely to be found: at a school-disco night, wearing shirt and tie, (pencilled on freckles and all) doing perfect routines to Steps' back catalogue whilst drinking Smirnoff Ice. Bless Him.
The Gay Geek
Attempts to hide his insecurities by allowing a huge, usually unhealthy obsession take over his life. These usually take the form of an ongoing TV drama, 1940's screen goddess or US pop diva. In place of a personality they will have a well dusted CD/DVD collection.
Is most likely to be found: at a Mariah Carey concert or in a DVD shop pointing out favourite 'classics' such as 'Glitter' and 'Sisteract' to a bored looking fag-hag.
The Stereotype
Depressingly more common than you think. Stereotypical gays literally have no personality. They live for designer clothes, the gym and crap dance music. And it's all geared towards them having more sex with other completely dull, like minded air-headed 'himbos'. Dumb girls LOVE them.
Is most likely to be found: In reality? In their rooms, taking photos of themselves in the mirror. Or slightly from above while they look off into the 'distance'.
The Pop-Culture Vulture
His finger will be on the pulse of anything 'cool'. At the moment this appears to be skinny jeans and trainers with stars on. Unfortunately it also means talking non-stop about crap bands and nintendo Wii. Will almost definitely be able to draw.
In most likely to be found: Updating his facebook status. Via his mobile phone.
The All-Rounder
These guys appear to be amazing at first. Very good 'on paper'. Intelligent, good-looking, usually straight acting, popular and funny. Perfect boyfriend material. Trouble is they are always bad kissers and/or crap in bed. Too much time doing the extra-curricular activities to worry about the important things.
Is most likely to be found: In a drama production, or in a rugby match or doing charity work.
The thing that is depressing me the most about this list is that they are all negative. That's why I'mgoing to stop now.
Where are the good types?
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1 comment:
You write very well.
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