All Just a Little Bit of History Repeating

Miss here,

WHAT IS YOUR TYPE?

I'm sure that's a question you have been asked before. Blondes? Brunettes? Tall? Chubby? Baby Dyke? Gimps? Half Russian, 1 legged ex prostitutes from Uruguay who only wear polyester?

Do you ever wonder if you're on a dating loophole? And you are, in fact, dating the same girl/ boy over and over again but they just have some clever disguises?

I have liked one type of girl since I was 16, physically speaking - suffice to say, most of the girls I fancy are straight. But I'm beginning to notice I may be attracted to one type of personality - Mean Girls. Not like the film version where they walk around looking like mini Barbie dolls (not my type). Just somewhat self involved, unattainable, emotional and somewhat prone to dramatics.

Now I'm a romantic. A stupid romantic. I will often be found mooning around London listening to movie soundtracks on my iPod and imagining sweeping, grand romantic gestures (it's sad I know). I think 'Beauty & the Beast' is a very lovely, and feasible, way to begin a relationship. And I think this may be the problem.

I don't want to meet someone, go on some lovely dates and settle down to live happily ever after. I want movie love. I want to meet someone, be blown away and have some massive romantic drama where you have to fight for someone and almost lose them. That running through the rain, chasing someone at the airport, moving to the other side of the world type of love.

However, I seem to get to the point where you think they are lost forever...and they are. There's no resolution. There's no running after someone in the rain, I'm not on my way to Heathrow and I'm certainly not typing this from my beach house in Bermuda. It's generally just a 'We shouldn't see each other anymore' and then I wait for them to either come running after me or for a sign that I should go running after them. Never happens.

I studied psychoanalysis for a while and I'm beginning to realise - What if it's me and not them?? What if I'm the one that's actually just somewhat self involved, unattainable, emotional and somewhat prone to dramatics?

Don't answer that.