I Got the Power

Miss here,

I am having the most boring Saturday afternoon ever. I can't remember when I had a Saturday with nothing to do. It is horrible. And what's worse, is that I have done this to myself. I have been exercising my will power.I don't know if you remember, but a while ago I mentioned I had been indulging in some flirtation with my 'surrogate girlfriend', who already has a girlfriend. We decided this should stop. But it hasn't and now it's complicated and we're not allowed to see each other. So that was my weekend plans a bit scuppered. And everyone else that I would like to hang out with has made other plans. So now I am here alone. Using my will power to not go running off to places I shouldn't. Well done me.

To fill up this time I have decided to keep busy. This morning, as it was a beautiful day I thought I would do some sun bathing in the garden. But then I thought 'No that's bad. I have been saying I will sort out the garden for weeks and so that is what I should do today'. I dragged my arse out of bed and did some horrible gardening with lots of bugs using my will power. Time of my life.

By the time I had finished the garden I was hungry so I went to Tesco to buy some bacon. When I got there I felt guilty - don't have bacon sandwiches cos Summer is here and you want to stay thin. Using my will power I bought All Bran and pineapple instead. Yummy.

Got home, sky is now grey and so I can't sunbathe. I was gonna go back to bed and watch some DVDs but that's a waste of a weekend so using my will power I did some washing and cleaned the kitchen. Fun.

Now that's all done I decide to go and get the paper to read. All that was left was The Sun and The Times. Went to reach for The Sun and then remembered it was a rag and that I should be educating myself, picked up The Times instead. Thrilling.

Back inside I thought 'Hmmm a vodka and a cigarette would be lovely to go with my entertaining paper'. Then remembered that drinking on your own in the afternoon is bad and I had promised the NHS nurse that I had quit smoking. Exciting.

Now imagine what life would be like if nobody had any will power and we all went around doing exactly what we wanted. Apart from crime, I don't think it would be that bad. If you were in work and it was a lovely day you could say 'Fuck this, I'm off' and spend the day outside. And then on a cloudy, miserable day like today you could think 'Oh I fancy earning some money, let's go into work'.

In short, today I could be behaving very badly and having lots of fun. But instead I am sat on my computer, drinking a can of pop and ignoring my boring paper. All I can say is - Thank the Lord for will power. Who knows where I would be without it?

Probably having fun!