Hi, Mr here.
Well I am now employed. A little bit TOO employed if you ask me as it seems I am literally working every hour that God sends. This has left me totally unable to go shopping, see my friends or basically have enough energy to stay awake past 9pm. Thus I have still yet to venture to 'Tuesday's gay night'.
When the world turns it's back on you like this you...turn to the internet. So I did. You know, just to put the feelers out there and see what the gays outside of London are like.
I started with Facebook, browsing through the guys in my area, as usual immediately by-passing any that were:
1) semi or totally naked
2) posed or professionally taken
3) named something along the lines of ::hottttt guy 69 lol :)::
4) intimidatingly goodlooking
5) an absolute monster
This was then futher filtered down by eliminating any profiles that contained:
1) Comments along the lines of 'This is me, pissed as usual, what an alcoholic' beneath a photo of them holding a single blue WKD.
2) interests listed as 'hot guys', 'drinking' or 'the usual stuff lol'
3) a distinct lack of real-life friends in their photos
4) hints of desperation
5) ANY kind of text speak or use of LOL. It makes my eyes bleed.
I was left with about 4. Further scrutiny of these yielded:
A) Favourite films: 'Good stuff and by good stuff I mean Scary Movie, Jeepers Creepers 1 & 2 and Martin Lawrence anything with him in makes me piss' (I couldn't type this verbatim as it would be illegible)
B) Interests: 'Hot lads lol'
C) Interests : 'Chasing cocks'
So I was left with one but by this point I was so disheartened I wanted to put my fist through the computer. The guys in my area are all idiots, chavs and posers. I wouldn't want to go and meet any of them on 'Gay night Tuesday' even if I had the time to.
Instead I went to one of the few free dating websites to see what that has to offer. After a couple of days I had one guy emailing me...all the way from Ireland. He is now bothering me on a daily basis which makes me wonder If he is having to come as far afield as Ireland to (wherever it is I live) on the prowl, then maybe there are actually no guys ANYWHERE.
Maybe it really is a blessing I'll be leaving the country....
Friday, January 25, 2008
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
On My Own Pretending He's Beside Meeeeee
So here is Miss
...young, free and single. Living in the city on my own without Mr. Ok i can't pretend to be quite as brave as him going it alone, as I am also with a lot of our friends, in the same house, hanging out with more than one person. But still...feeling the pride.
So since Mr deserted me (yes he deserted me, i refuse to look at it in any other way) I have had a job promotion and so, like any girl going through a break up, have been working late at the office, until I found that I have actually caught up with the insane backlog. Well kind of, there are still loads of boring bits but they are too boring to deal with at present so i'll pretend they don't exist. The point is, i can not spend my time in the office.
But, light was on the horizon - Our friend F moved down last weekend though and i have been busy mothering her and making myself feel needed and, perhaps some would say, smothering her. Sadly, she is actually doing a lot better than i thought she would in adjusting to London life and I know that I am not really needed, that i'm just being humoured.
So instead I resorted to my friend 'the Med', who i have taken to calling my surrogate girlfriend. We're friends who text a lot and go out for dinner every couple of weeks; she listens to me rant about how stressed I am and I listen to her trying to solve the constant enigma that is her girlfriend. But lately our texts have gotten a bit too familiar on both parts. I believe that my thought process was somewhere along the lines of this 'Hmmm i have lots of spare time, how can i fill it up?? Oooh i'll text the Med and make my life a bit complicated but without being serious.' However last night she called me up on it and decided that we had been acting inappropriately and it was getting a bit complicated. Not wanting to lose a friend and realising that lines have been stepped over I agreed that we should act strictly as chums in the future.
So I am now at a bit of a loss. I have no Mr to take up my spare time, F does not need me (I think she is ridiculously focused on finding a husband to be honest) and 'the Med' has called a hault to my random pretence of having a life.
Maybe I should take up a hobby...
...young, free and single. Living in the city on my own without Mr. Ok i can't pretend to be quite as brave as him going it alone, as I am also with a lot of our friends, in the same house, hanging out with more than one person. But still...feeling the pride.
So since Mr deserted me (yes he deserted me, i refuse to look at it in any other way) I have had a job promotion and so, like any girl going through a break up, have been working late at the office, until I found that I have actually caught up with the insane backlog. Well kind of, there are still loads of boring bits but they are too boring to deal with at present so i'll pretend they don't exist. The point is, i can not spend my time in the office.
But, light was on the horizon - Our friend F moved down last weekend though and i have been busy mothering her and making myself feel needed and, perhaps some would say, smothering her. Sadly, she is actually doing a lot better than i thought she would in adjusting to London life and I know that I am not really needed, that i'm just being humoured.
So instead I resorted to my friend 'the Med', who i have taken to calling my surrogate girlfriend. We're friends who text a lot and go out for dinner every couple of weeks; she listens to me rant about how stressed I am and I listen to her trying to solve the constant enigma that is her girlfriend. But lately our texts have gotten a bit too familiar on both parts. I believe that my thought process was somewhere along the lines of this 'Hmmm i have lots of spare time, how can i fill it up?? Oooh i'll text the Med and make my life a bit complicated but without being serious.' However last night she called me up on it and decided that we had been acting inappropriately and it was getting a bit complicated. Not wanting to lose a friend and realising that lines have been stepped over I agreed that we should act strictly as chums in the future.
So I am now at a bit of a loss. I have no Mr to take up my spare time, F does not need me (I think she is ridiculously focused on finding a husband to be honest) and 'the Med' has called a hault to my random pretence of having a life.
Maybe I should take up a hobby...
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Sweet Home Alabama
Hi, Mr here. Sorry it has been such a long time but we've been busy with christmas festivities, office parties, family time etc etc. Not to mention me moving back 'up north'. That's right, me and Miss have (temporarily) gone our seperate ways.
Since not having lived, or really even visited my hometown for the best part of 6 years, I was intrigued to see what it would be like after the hectic lifestyle of the big-smoke. Well admittedly I have only been here a matter of days but, well, it's shit. I am unemployed, have no real bed to speak of and I am already missing Miss like crazy.
And don't get me started on what the Scot would refer to as 'Talent'.
Everything is a bit backwards here. To the native who has never left the place, of course this is unnoticeable. But after sampling the capital's 'cosmopolitan' lifestyle for a brief period, you realise just how shit and bland everything outside it is. Even this blog is severley lacking in it's usual punchy tone I've just noticed!
So, after resigning myself to the fact that I am going to have to try and survive the next year living in Royston Vasey I decided I am going to make the most of my time here. First things first, ralley the troops.
The went for a home-coming drink with the one school friend, C, I keep in constant contact with. Bit insane but nice enough non-the-less. When I broached the subject of me trying to find some nice gay gentleman in the area, she first of all informed me that a bar down the roasd 'does a gay night on Tuesdays'. She then, (having already taken the initiative) produced a list of guys phone numbers she had stolen from the books at work. When I asked why she thought I would like these particular ones her response was 'well, you're gay, they're gay.' Always a good starting point I suppose but the fact that she met them all as customers in her salon goes to show I've got a big job ahead of me if I'm going to teach C about my taste in men. And attitudes towards being gay. She then proceeded to spend a large portion of the night telling me how much she loved me because 'I'm a boy but I don't fancy you but you can still be, like, my surrogate boyfriend can't you? We do everything a normal boyfriend and girlfriend do, but without the sex.'
Ladies and gentleman, I have acquired my first proper fag-hag.
The fag-hag has always been something I have always managed to avoid (which is usually easy as you can spot them a mile off). Mainly because I don't like the idea of being fawned over and followed about by a girl who finds 'the gays' hilarous.
Still, it will be nice to have someone to go to Tuesday's 'gay night' with.
Since not having lived, or really even visited my hometown for the best part of 6 years, I was intrigued to see what it would be like after the hectic lifestyle of the big-smoke. Well admittedly I have only been here a matter of days but, well, it's shit. I am unemployed, have no real bed to speak of and I am already missing Miss like crazy.
And don't get me started on what the Scot would refer to as 'Talent'.
Everything is a bit backwards here. To the native who has never left the place, of course this is unnoticeable. But after sampling the capital's 'cosmopolitan' lifestyle for a brief period, you realise just how shit and bland everything outside it is. Even this blog is severley lacking in it's usual punchy tone I've just noticed!
So, after resigning myself to the fact that I am going to have to try and survive the next year living in Royston Vasey I decided I am going to make the most of my time here. First things first, ralley the troops.
The went for a home-coming drink with the one school friend, C, I keep in constant contact with. Bit insane but nice enough non-the-less. When I broached the subject of me trying to find some nice gay gentleman in the area, she first of all informed me that a bar down the roasd 'does a gay night on Tuesdays'. She then, (having already taken the initiative) produced a list of guys phone numbers she had stolen from the books at work. When I asked why she thought I would like these particular ones her response was 'well, you're gay, they're gay.' Always a good starting point I suppose but the fact that she met them all as customers in her salon goes to show I've got a big job ahead of me if I'm going to teach C about my taste in men. And attitudes towards being gay. She then proceeded to spend a large portion of the night telling me how much she loved me because 'I'm a boy but I don't fancy you but you can still be, like, my surrogate boyfriend can't you? We do everything a normal boyfriend and girlfriend do, but without the sex.'
Ladies and gentleman, I have acquired my first proper fag-hag.
The fag-hag has always been something I have always managed to avoid (which is usually easy as you can spot them a mile off). Mainly because I don't like the idea of being fawned over and followed about by a girl who finds 'the gays' hilarous.
Still, it will be nice to have someone to go to Tuesday's 'gay night' with.
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