Sweet Home Alabama

Hi, Mr here. Sorry it has been such a long time but we've been busy with christmas festivities, office parties, family time etc etc. Not to mention me moving back 'up north'. That's right, me and Miss have (temporarily) gone our seperate ways.

Since not having lived, or really even visited my hometown for the best part of 6 years, I was intrigued to see what it would be like after the hectic lifestyle of the big-smoke. Well admittedly I have only been here a matter of days but, well, it's shit. I am unemployed, have no real bed to speak of and I am already missing Miss like crazy.

And don't get me started on what the Scot would refer to as 'Talent'.

Everything is a bit backwards here. To the native who has never left the place, of course this is unnoticeable. But after sampling the capital's 'cosmopolitan' lifestyle for a brief period, you realise just how shit and bland everything outside it is. Even this blog is severley lacking in it's usual punchy tone I've just noticed!

So, after resigning myself to the fact that I am going to have to try and survive the next year living in Royston Vasey I decided I am going to make the most of my time here. First things first, ralley the troops.

The went for a home-coming drink with the one school friend, C, I keep in constant contact with. Bit insane but nice enough non-the-less. When I broached the subject of me trying to find some nice gay gentleman in the area, she first of all informed me that a bar down the roasd 'does a gay night on Tuesdays'. She then, (having already taken the initiative) produced a list of guys phone numbers she had stolen from the books at work. When I asked why she thought I would like these particular ones her response was 'well, you're gay, they're gay.' Always a good starting point I suppose but the fact that she met them all as customers in her salon goes to show I've got a big job ahead of me if I'm going to teach C about my taste in men. And attitudes towards being gay. She then proceeded to spend a large portion of the night telling me how much she loved me because 'I'm a boy but I don't fancy you but you can still be, like, my surrogate boyfriend can't you? We do everything a normal boyfriend and girlfriend do, but without the sex.'

Ladies and gentleman, I have acquired my first proper fag-hag.

The fag-hag has always been something I have always managed to avoid (which is usually easy as you can spot them a mile off). Mainly because I don't like the idea of being fawned over and followed about by a girl who finds 'the gays' hilarous.

Still, it will be nice to have someone to go to Tuesday's 'gay night' with.