Working 9 to 5

Hi, Mr here.

Well I am now employed. A little bit TOO employed if you ask me as it seems I am literally working every hour that God sends. This has left me totally unable to go shopping, see my friends or basically have enough energy to stay awake past 9pm. Thus I have still yet to venture to 'Tuesday's gay night'.

When the world turns it's back on you like this you...turn to the internet. So I did. You know, just to put the feelers out there and see what the gays outside of London are like.

I started with Facebook, browsing through the guys in my area, as usual immediately by-passing any that were:

1) semi or totally naked

2) posed or professionally taken

3) named something along the lines of ::hottttt guy 69 lol :)::

4) intimidatingly goodlooking

5) an absolute monster

This was then futher filtered down by eliminating any profiles that contained:

1) Comments along the lines of 'This is me, pissed as usual, what an alcoholic' beneath a photo of them holding a single blue WKD.

2) interests listed as 'hot guys', 'drinking' or 'the usual stuff lol'

3) a distinct lack of real-life friends in their photos

4) hints of desperation

5) ANY kind of text speak or use of LOL. It makes my eyes bleed.

I was left with about 4. Further scrutiny of these yielded:

A) Favourite films: 'Good stuff and by good stuff I mean Scary Movie, Jeepers Creepers 1 & 2 and Martin Lawrence anything with him in makes me piss' (I couldn't type this verbatim as it would be illegible)

B) Interests: 'Hot lads lol'

C) Interests : 'Chasing cocks'

So I was left with one but by this point I was so disheartened I wanted to put my fist through the computer. The guys in my area are all idiots, chavs and posers. I wouldn't want to go and meet any of them on 'Gay night Tuesday' even if I had the time to.

Instead I went to one of the few free dating websites to see what that has to offer. After a couple of days I had one guy emailing me...all the way from Ireland. He is now bothering me on a daily basis which makes me wonder If he is having to come as far afield as Ireland to (wherever it is I live) on the prowl, then maybe there are actually no guys ANYWHERE.

Maybe it really is a blessing I'll be leaving the country....