Goodbye My Lover

Good evening, Mr here (I think Miss may be dead).

This week I said goodbye to the greatest love of my life...cigarettes.

It was a spur of the moment decision. I really just couldn't be bothered to go to the corner shop that day so thought I'd quit instead. Then I began to think of some of the benefits:

1) I wouldn't smell like Dot Cotton (how I imagine her to smell at least)

2) I wouldn't sound like Dot Cotton

3) I wouldn't look like Dot Cotton

4) Basically my life would be less like Dot Cotton's

This, in turn, made me realise that my chances of having sex will increase somewhat. That in turn made me wonder what I may have been missing out on over the last 10 years. I once read in Gay Times (the only time I have ever gone near it and that was only because Miss forced me) that smoking is the thing that gays find the least unattractive; yet somewhat strangely, so many of us do it. Hmmm. Double standards?

After being clean for almost a week I decided I needed to witness this double standard from the other side and went round to see the boyf. Indeed, to a non-smoker, fags are foul. They look, smell and taste horrible. Kissing him was even harder than usual. So much so in fact that the only solution was to temporarily fall off the wagon in order to mask the stench. Cheating a bit I know, but kissing a smoker is foul.

And so today I am clean again. True I am twitchy, slightly irritable and I have developed a cold as apparently my lungs are 'cleaning themselves' and are thus more succeptable to viruses but I am on the road to being more attractive. I hope.