Social Experiments

Miss here,

this weekend was all about social experiments. Well there was 2 of them.

Ever since G announced she was moving in with O we have been searching for a new housemate. Someone who is going to fit in with our love of pissed house karaoke and nudity. We started off in earnest, asking people many a question over the phone and arranging viewing times. By the end of the week the standards had slumped to a perfunctory 'What's your name? How old are you? What you do for a living? Yeah come over when you want.'

I would like to say the callibre of people we saw left us torn between which fabulous person should join us. But I can't. They were all men...it would seem that straight girls are rather scared of living with lesbians (can't think why, thought we had a great reputation) but straight men, generally, don't give a rats arse who you wanna shag.

Or maybe they do, but they're so desperate because nobody wants to live with them that they just pretend they don't. Anyway...we saw one really smug, bearded monster who we allowed in the house for a grand total of 6 minutes. One man who Mr thought had a tick and kept telling us about all the secret services he had served in around the world. He did offer to teach us how to use 'mild' weapons though which was nice of him. One 'city boy' - God knows why he showed up - who we have still yet to tell the bad news. Let him down gently. And one lad who seemed so nervous that he obviously couldn't wait to run out the door.

Finally we had a call from a Scot, who J was convinced was passive aggressive, but we were scraping the bottom of the barrel and the weapons tutor was winning so we thought 'oh fuck it why not'.

He is lovely. Cheeky little chimpy face. Mr is already in love with him and he is as gay as Mr Motivator. He shall now go by the imaginative name of Scot. He is moving in Saturday and we shall let you know how it goes.

The second social experiment was us having the amazing idea of not smoking for the night and seeing if not stinking of fags makes you more attractive when you're out.

I thought some girl was hitting on me...only to discover she had a rather possessive girlfriend. Mr, sadly, had worse luck than usual. Oh no wait! We did both get felt up at the bar. By 2 fat straight bitches from Essex who were on a 'be gay for the night' trip.

We decided to leave, only to find all the attractive people milling about outside smoking chatting to each other because they weren't drowned out by some god awful Euro Pop from Slovakia.

It's a shit word, but a great concept - Smirting.